FLY AWAY

People ask me various questions around this time of year and they all pretty much centre on the following two themes - family and why am I here. No matter what I answer they remain dubious due to the weather (the grey drizzly 6 month winters compared to the 9 months of balmy sunny days in my home land) and the lifestyle (the difference in the activities one will/not be doing in each country e.g. choices of work, recreation, etc).

The statement which ultimately ends the conversation (and I use when I've had enough of the prying) is 'I can always go back there' (though I rarely say that). I have once (when I was in a particularly prickly mood and they wont let the matter drop) emphasised the unspoken extra three words ... 'and you cant'.

However, there is a catch - I am required to squeeze into a tin can with a few hundred other anti-social people for at least 24 hours (could be up to 36 depending on stopover destinations and refueling requirements) with inedible food, suffer jet lag for a week and loose around 2 days each way of my annual leave in travelling.

This may seem like a small price to pay but it is getting harder and harder as the years go on.

Much like my recent rant in 'Into The Night', there are those which shouldn't travel (especially under the above conditions) as they bring out the worst in themselves not to mention those they encounter.

I think I am generally an ok traveller but even I can be tested. What tests me are the 1001 little things that slowly wear you down as the journey goes on and on. Some examples are:

- being told that one person hasn't turned up for the flight and they now have to unload all the bags to get that person's luggage out before we can fly (to this I say leave it there and let them pay for it getting back).

- the cute kid kicking my seat for the entire flight and the parent refusing to stop them.

- the fact that I'm stuck in the middle seat between two people who wont let me out for a pee.

- the cabin crew who refuse to bring you a drink cause they've decided its night time.

- the group two rows down who've decided that they'll loudly talk for the entire journey (about nothing in particular) when everyone around them is trying to sleep.

- getting a seat where the audio doesn't work no matter how many pairs of headsets you demand.

- being told that they've run out of 'X' so you have to eat the one thing you despise.

- the person who thinks that they have the right to sit in both your seat and theirs.

The list is actually endless but you get the idea.

Its when I get all of the above in one flight and not a wink of sleep that I am not a happy flier.

Ahh in a few hours I'll get to begin this experience again.

This is why I'm not excited about 'going home'. Despite all this, I am always happy 'to be home' - see family and friends.